Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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