He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this beer tastes like vomit already
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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