it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
