peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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