He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."