I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.