I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
