That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize