You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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