There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
