Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
