there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
