I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument