honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.