you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.