I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..