Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
