She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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