Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
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Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize