i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize