Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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