i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
