toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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