Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
