By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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