Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
