The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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