Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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