i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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