It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we're making bets on your personal life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
