Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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