Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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