You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
