Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
