oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize