Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
