We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
