What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
