I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
NoShamevember. You game?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
