This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
