Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

(770): View more from Georgia

I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

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(631): View more from New York

I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

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(585): View more from New York

I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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(678): View more from Georgia

Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"

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(312): View more from Illinois

This toilet bowl is my home.

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