her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
