I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
