Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
