The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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