Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
