To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
