She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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