He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
