I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
