Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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