me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
