Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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