It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize