I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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