I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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