Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
