Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
