Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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