Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
