Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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