I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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