I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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