chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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