I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
