How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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