bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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