She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
