ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
