my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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